maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
