you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
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If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
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So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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