I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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