i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
