If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
