Nicole vs. Life
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
