I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
