I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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