I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
