obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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