Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
