Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I need to calm my uterus...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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