whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
