found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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