ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
pray to the hookup gods
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
