So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
