I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
