why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
