i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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