he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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