Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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