shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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