hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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