Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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