Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Randomize
