): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
