so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
