I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
