I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
