I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
