His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
