He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
