You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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