She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
this hospital has no fireball
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize