I just gift wrapped bread.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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