we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
