Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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