I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
