I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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