I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
