i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
