Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She even gives head with a lisp.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
