I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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