I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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