Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
