i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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