Screwed.edu
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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