she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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