I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
