Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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