im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
