my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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