Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
