I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
