can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
