she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize