Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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