Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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