I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Randomize
