I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
