I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
