does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize