Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
