what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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